Content Warning
Warning: This story contains themes of youth suicide and emotional distress. Please prioritise your well-being before deciding to read further.
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I am a daughter, a sister, a mother, and a wife. I have lived my entire life in Gorleston-on-Sea, specifically on the Magdalen Estate. I am not afraid to say where I am from, but I am deeply disappointed to say that our MP is Rupert Lowe.
I write this as a straight, white, cisgender woman who, until I had children, didn’t truly understand the LGBTQ+ community. I was raised in the 70s, in a different time with different ideas.
When my child was six years old, she told me she wasn’t a little boy; she was a girl. She asked to wear dresses and have her hair in pigtails. At the time, my husband and I scoffed. We told her she was a boy and she couldn’t be a girl. We watched her cry herself to sleep most nights, praying to a God we no longer believe in, wishing she would wake up as a girl. Her prayers went unanswered.
Back then, I hated the fact that my child wanted to be different from how she was born. I thought something was wrong with her.
At 13, the question of her gender was raised again. She had found the word for how she felt: trans. She asked us to change her name and let her be a girl. Being ignorant and uneducated, we denied her that right.
Eventually, I sought family therapy with a specialist in LGBTQ+ issues. I learned so much. I learned that I wasn’t “losing a son” by letting my daughter be herself—but there was a high chance I would lose my child entirely if I didn’t. I educated myself, and I educated my husband. I spoke to trans people at Quay Pride to understand their lives.
For her 16th birthday, I finally understood. I paid for her name to be changed. I bought her a beautiful dress and makeup. I went to her room, excited to finally tell her she could be herself.
I was too late.
My daughter, Annie, had taken her own life. She felt less than. She felt unwanted. She was gone because of my ignorance.
This is why the current political path and legislation in this country are disastrous and inhumane. People ask what Pride means to me. As a straight woman, some might say it isn’t for me—but it means more to me than most can comprehend. It is a protest against the bigotry and the lack of education that causes so many LGBTQ+ and trans youth to take their lives.
Learn from my mistake. Educate yourself now, before it is too late for someone you love. If you are not ready to accept an LGBTQ+ child, do not have children. If you have never met a trans person, try to meet one. Most are the kindest people who just want to live as they were meant to be. They are harming no one.
To the people in power and those fighting to define “womanhood” in a way that excludes others: I say ‘Blood is on your hands.’ I am a woman, and so are my trans sisters. You can fight for what you believe in, but do not do it in the name of women. NOT IN MY NAME.
Sleep tight, Annie. It has been two years since you left us, and I will never stop fighting for your community.
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If you or someone you know is affected by the themes in this story, the following UK resources are available for free, confidential support:
- Papyrus (Prevention of Young Suicide): Specifically for people under 35.
- Call 0800 068 4141 or text 88247 (9am–midnight).
- Childline: For anyone under 19.
- Call 0800 1111 (Support does not show up on phone bills).
- Shout: A 24/7 mental health text service.
- Text SHOUT to 85258.
- Samaritans: Available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
- Call 116 123.
- The Mix: Essential support for under-25s.
- Call 0808 808 4994 or use their online crisis messenger.